


The world doesn't deserve you

by CelestialMinCarnation



Series: We were there, but you were gone too soon [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: AVENGERS ENDGAME SPOILER, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Closure, Gen, Grief/Mourning, HAVENTWATCHTHENDONTREAD, Heavy Angst, Irondad, Pain, READONATYOUROWNRISK, Sort Of, THEWORLDDOESNTDESERVETONYSTARK, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, spiderson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-02-07 10:00:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18618340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CelestialMinCarnation/pseuds/CelestialMinCarnation
Summary: "The world doesn't deserve you,""I don't deserve you,"MAJOR AVENGERS ENDGAME SPOILER!Read on at your own risk.don't blame me for this.YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.





	The world doesn't deserve you

**Author's Note:**

> MAJOR AVENGERS ENDGAME SPOILER.  
> Like, a biggggg spoiler so i don't recommend people who haven't watched the movie to read, unless you want spoilers.  
> You've been warned, this is my first one shot posted on AO3 so i appreciate it if i don't get reported or sued.  
> Thanks and please prepare tissues.

**_The world doesn't deserve Tony Stark_ **

 

 ** _There_** was only grief, coursing throughout Spiderman's veins. The criminal rate after the reverse of the decimation had sky rocketed, leaving Spiderman (and some others) occupied with dealing them. But the masked vigilante had accepted his busy schedule. He'll go to school and distract himself with all the teenager stuff he missed for the past five years. (Yes, he is technically 22 but he hadn't aged a day since he'd turned to dust. It was already weird enough to see some of his classmates that had survived the snap going to college without him and those who didn't). By night, he'll wear a mask and fight the criminals that were crazy enough to try and take over the streets of Queens until late into the night. He didn't give himself time to wallow in his emotions, opting to stress his body physically until he returns home (with Aunt May sleeping on the couch because she had waited up for his return) and falls asleep on his bed immediately. It was unhealthy of him, he knew it. He didn't let Ned or Aunt May to berate him of something he knew, often changing the topics or storming off before they could even open their mouths to do so.

Most nights when he tried to stay home instead of fighting crime, he couldn't sleep. His nights were restless, often plagued with nightmares of homecoming, or the decimation.. or of Tony Stark.

His  _mentor._

His  _father figure._

_Iron Man._

 

The man that had nothing until he had everything. A wife, a daughter.. A family. A family where there was no Peter Parker in it.

When the funeral was on, Peter hadn't cried. He had stood on the wooden dock until everyone left. He had purposely avoided the Starks, unable to face the mother and daughter after robbing the life of their loved one. He had watched the tribute flowers that held Tony's arc reactor (the one he had given Pepper which she had  _Proof that Tony Stark has a heart_ carved on it) float on the river until it disappeared from sight. Peter couldn't believe he was relieving another death. Another funeral. And the self hatred part of him blamed his mentor's death on him. And to further prove that, Rhodey had quietly joined him. He had noticed the hero since he arrived but didn't bother acknowledging him until the best friend of the dead billionaire had spoken up.

_"Tony was... he was one of the fortunate ones after the decimation. He still had Pepper. He got Morgan. He still had me, had Happy.. but the first thing he told us when he arrived on Earth? **i lost the kid**. God, he was distraught. He blamed himself for losing you,"_

_Peter's stoic look fell, and his body trembled with the tears that began rolling down his cheeks. His heart ached and he wanted to laugh at himself for being as idiotic as Stark was when he thought he had lost Peter; by blaming himself for something he couldn't prevent. The what-ifs swarmed his head. What if he had stopped Tony from taking the stones from Thanos? What if he was strong enough to stay and not be dusted? What if he hadn't gone to Leipzig and gotten attached to the billionaire?_

_"Don't. If you're anything like Tony, i know exactly what is going inside your mind. You can't blame yourself for something you have no power over. Tony made his choice, and you have to make yours. Don't live in regret, because that isn't what Tony would have wanted for you,"_

_Peter looked over his shoulders, reddening eyes meeting Rhodey's tearful ones. The older man stepped forward and wrapped the vigilante in his arms, holding up the boy as he cried out in grief._

_"Don't deprive your heart from your emotions. It's okay to grief and mourn... Tony- he wouldn't want that. He loves you, and i know you know that, kid. He went through hell to get you back,"_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Peter was drowning.

 

He didn't know how he'd come to this, but he had been fighting against this criminal in a plane flying over Queens, and he had fallen. He had shot his web, but it grasped nothing. He remembered screaming and the cold had welcomed him. The scene was familiar. He fought against the water, trying to break through the surface but his mind was filled with thoughts that confused him. His anxiety clawed up his throat much like his desperate need for oxygen, It's like he couldn't swim, but his body doesn't seem to function as his arms flailed and his legs refused to move. The days and nights of him physically straining himself had caught up to bite his ass, as he drifted further and further into the unknown. And this time, Tony Stark wasn't there to save him.

(And he'd never know that as he fell screaming, he had screamed out his father figure's name, desperately wishing that the hero was there to save himself once again from his nightmare.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

"- Yes, May. He's currently with me. I'll keep him here for the night. I- think he needs it,"

 

The familiar female voice echoed inside Peter's mind as he drifted towards the light inside the darkness inside his head. He groaned, as he forced his eyes to open. He immediately regretted it, when a lamp hovering over his face blinded. "FRIDAY, dim the lights to 15%," The female voice ordered. He let the lights dim before hesitantly opening his eyes. He took in his surrounding, and his heart skyrocketed, knowing exactly where he was. The place he had been trying to avoid for months now. The Stark's home. Peter was laying in a bed in a guest room he had past during the funeral. He slowly sat up, refusing to acknowledge Pepper as she sat down at the edge of the bed, face full of concern he knew he didn't deserve.

"Hey, kid,"

Peter stilled, Tony's voice stubbornly replacing the woman's voice like a broken record.  _Hey, kid._

"H-How did i get here?," Peter asked, his throat hurting from the lack of use (and the river he drowned in). "Rhodey was around Queens when he detected your distress signal. He brought you here," Pepper answered, reaching out to touch his cheek but only to have Peter recoil from her hand. She froze and sighed. 

"Oh honey...," She murmured, eyes sad and slightly hurt at Peter's (reflex) action. Peter immediately felt bad, hesitantly leaning in so she could touch him. Pepper did, gently caressing his cheek. "Karen's been reporting me that you're overworking yourself," Pepper murmured, heartbroken when Peter unconsciously nuzzled his face into her hand (Just like her husband). The vigilante met her eyes, delivering his emotions through the tears that formed in them. Pepper slightly squeezed his cheek.

"I think there's something Tony wants you to see in the garage,"

 

 

 

Peter was alone as he listened to Pepper's fading footsteps. He stared at the table he knew Tony used just months ago. He looked around the room, emotions passing through his face as he was hit by how much  _this place,_ (that he had never seen, or wasn't even familiar with) reminded him of Tony. The untouched mug drained of coffee on the shelf; a shirt thrown randomly onto the back rest of the couch that sat in the corner; The pictures that littered  _everywhere._ This place screamed TONY STARK'S PRIVATE ROOM and Peter felt like he was intruding. He clenched his fist, then let loose. He repeated that action as a means to control his anxiety as he felt suffocated by the reminders that Tony Stark had been happy for the past five years and Peter had to ruin that by  _reminding Tony that he was still dead unless the hero does something to reverse that._  

His eyes fell onto a picture frame sitting on the small round table under the lamp next to the couch. His legs moved and he picked the picture up, immediately regretting it when his mind registered the smiles on both his and Tony's faces taunting him under the glass. He remembered the day when they took the picture. Peter had officially interned for Tony after the homecoming fiasco and it was the day Tony had given him a certificate for proof that he did intern for Stark Industries. They were happy. They looked happy. Peter remembered Tony telling him that he wasn't the nostalgic type of guy and it was funny how contradictory he was when he had this picture framed and opened at sight.

 

( _"i am many things, but nostalgic isn't one of 'em,"_ )

 

Peter's emotions caught up to him and he fell back onto the couch, hands trembling as he held the picture. The tears that he had stubbornly held back broke from his holds and rolled down his cheeks like a fountain of water. A sob crawled up his throat, pathetic and weak as he sobbed over the memory he held in his hands. Anger and grief raced through his veins, as the frame snapped from his strength and the glass shattered. The picture fell from his hands. His act of recklessness broke his trance and his face morphed into mortification as he shakily reached for the broken pieces of what was once a picture frame. He moved away the shattered glasses and broken frame pieces, gently picking up the picture that is as precious to both Peter Parker and Tony Stark.

 

He stared at the face of his mentor, feeling anger coursing his veins again. 

 

"The world doesn't deserve you," He croaked.  _i didn't deserve you._ Peter thought, body shaking from the overwhelming anger. He dropped the picture and stood up abruptly. "THE WORLD DOESN'T FUCKING DESERVE YOU! YOU FUCKING BASTARD! TONY STARK I FUCKING HATE YOU! I- I -," He bellowed, angry tears rolled down his cheeks as fast as the anger left his body. He dropped back onto the couch and stared at his trembling hands.

" _I_ don't deserve you,"

"You had a lot of people that love you. So damn many. A wife. A fucking daughter. A best friend. Why did you sacrifice all of  _that_ for a nobody from Queens?," He sobbed, arms wound around himself. "Why were you so damn selfish? You had everything.. and now, you have nothing,"

 

**"Spiderson Protocol has been activated,"**

 

Peter froze, as a hologram flickered to life on the big table that sat in the middle of the room. He stared as his mentor formed infront of his eyes, staring at him with a gentle smile on his face. Tony looked tired, exhausted even as he stood with his arms crossed. 

 

_"You might be surprised, underoos,"_

 

Surprise was an understatement.

 

 _"I'm sure you're bawling your eyes right now. Hey, i won't judge-,"_ Tony's fond smile faltered.  _"-i did too, when i lost you. Hopefully, i succeeded in beating that purple grape and brought you back. But, as happy as i am to greet you **alive** , i knew there was close to none in that possibility. so i've decided to do a little video message for you. Don't worry, FRIDAY can only show this video if she hears you cursing me in death-,"_

 

Another sob crawled out of Peter's throat as he glared at the ceiling. 

 

 _"and if you're watching this, then you are cursing me right now, aren't you? Better watch that mouth or Morgan'll hear you-,"_ Tony's voice broke.  _"i hope you've met her, kiddo. She's a wonderful kid.. Like you. She'll need you, since i'm probably gone by now. I would ask you the question, but i already know the answer. Be a good brother to Morgan, okay kid? God, i guess i'll never live the day my babies would meet huh?,"_

Peter was instantly hit by guilt. He had avoided Tony's daughter eversince the funeral. Even then, he had not approach the girl at all.

 

_"Probably one of the team told you my reason of helping in with reversing the decimation right? I bet it was Rhodey. And Kid, i know you. I know that you'll hurt and blame yourself for something you can't prevent. For something i chose to sacrifice myself for. I want you to live your life to the fullest, take that advice your uncle Ben gave you. What was it again? With great power comes great responsibility right? He's right you know? After all he raised you,"_

 

Peter smiled weakly.

 

_"You know, i wished i could take credit in raising you.. but i realized i can take credit in helping you become the man you are now. Well, i hope so.. What am i ranting? God, i picked up your nasty habit. Lord, help me-,"_

 

Peter chuckled, the sound unfamiliar to him.

 

 _"Pete, You showed me how to break that awful cycle of Stark's men A+ parenting. You literally brought out a side of me that would literally bother Morgan one day. I could never imagine myself as a helicopter parent, but with the amount of grey hair you gave me, i wouldn't be so surprised. Though i guess, that's you. You're a Stark now, underoos. You're my son,"_ Tony wiped the tear that rolled down his cheek.

_"And you're one of the best things that happened in my crappy life. You. Morgan. Pepper. Rhodey. Happy. Me. We're one small family so we have to have each other's back,"_

_"I love you Peter Parker,"_

 

Tony gave him a final fond smile, and the hologram disappeared.

 

 

 

 

"Are you Peter?,"

 

The vigilante flinched, wiping his eyes furiously as he looked over to the stairs that led from the living room. A small girl was staring at him, eyes bleary from sleep. Peter calmed his racing heart and gave the girl a soft smile. "Yeah.. You must be Morgan," He murmured, heart aching when he saw Tony in her, especially her dark bright eyes. The stark approached him carefully and Peter gently reached out a hand. Morgan took his hand and allowed him to pull her closer. 

"Daddy said you're my big brother," She said innocently. Peter's smile faltered, but he nodded slowly. "I am, i'll be the best big brother you ever had," Peter said, watching as the girl's face brightened with a smile which was cut off with a yawn. He slightly freeze when the little girl wrapped her arms around his neck. "Pete, i'm sleepy," She murmured and Peter lifted her up in his arms. "Big brothers don't let their sisters out of their bed time so we should probably go back to bed," He said, carrying the Stark to the stairs. 

 

"I miss daddy," Morgan said, her tone teary. Peter halted at the first step, then hesitantly kissed her cheek. "Me too, Bambi.. me too," He whispered. "But he's looking after us,"

He added. "Like an angel?," Morgan asked, exhaustion dripping her tone. Peter smiled against her temple as she rest her head against his shoulder. "Exactly like an angel,"

He agreed, letting his eyes roam the room once more before he proceeded to bring Morgan back to bed.

 

_I love you too, Mr Stark._

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the pain i've caused by writing this.. T-T
> 
> I just had a lot of feels when i watched the movie. so this idea had been on my mind eversince.
> 
> Edit: also, i'm thinking of continuation one shot.. Probably gonna change this into a serious of post Tony's death and how Peter deals with life. 
> 
> Though, I might add a little romance in there. I need your vote, but I won't assure you when I will post a new one shot. 
> 
> Harley Keener/Peter Parker
> 
> Michelle Jones/Peter Parker
> 
> your pick 😘


End file.
